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#panicDisorder

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I went to a mall yesterday that I've been avoiding for years. It felt like I'd be going to a whole new place because of all the changes they've made to it. I've been invited to go with friends a bunch of times, but finally decided to try going yesterday. It was really challenging and anxiety provoking. I was so scared I was going to have a meltdown, super bad panic attack, or both. Luckily, I made it through, and it ended up being a decent outing. #ActuallyAutistic #PanicDisorder

Panic attacks are really annoying. I'm also annoyed how quickly I can go from feeling ok, to panicking, back to feeling relatively ok, then back to panic.

And when I'm in the "panic" moments, I have never been able to convince myself that I'll come out of it again. Evidence doesn't matter for much in a panic attack.

How to survive a panic attack:
Step 1: make sure the pain you feel is not an obvious physical one
Step 2: tell your brain, “it’s just your heart beating too fast but there’s actually no danger”
Step 3: get under the comfiest possible blankie and chant “I am safe. I’m like a cloud - soft and fluffy. No one can hurt a cloud”
Step 4: eat something that makes you feel good
Step 5: eat some more
Step 6: hydrate
Step 7: go back to bed. Watch something that gives you joy
Step 8: try to connect with your people/weirdos/cult
Step 9: try to make some self deprecating jokes #MentalHealth #PanicDisorder #funny #YMMV

Lucy and I have the go ahead from her trainer to start doing training on buses. I haven’t taken a bus in a few years. I have very bad panic attacks on them, and bus rides are very overstimulating to me as well. Then there’s always pushy people asking questions about my service dog, which adds to the panic and overstimulation. But I’m so tired of being trapped within walking distance of my apartment. We will probably start by just going up 1-3 stops. #Agoraphobia #PanicDisorder #ActuallyAutistic

Lucy and I have another appointment with the service dog trainer on Thursday. We are going to start working on getting her ready to take buses, because I want to be able to take the bus again eventually. I haven’t been able to take it in years due to panic attacks and agoraphobia, but I hate being so limited not taking them. Attaching a random pic of Lucy from last week. #ServiceDog #PanicDisorder #Agoraphobia