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Canada waiting for US economy to implode enough to make America 11th province - #TheBeaverton 
https://www.thebeaverton.com/2025/04/canada-waiting-for-us-economy-to-implode-enough-to-make-america-11th-province/
“With the stock market plunged into chaos by U.S. President Donald Trump’s sweeping tariffs, Canadians have decided to simply wait out America’s forthcoming economic collapse and then buy the nation on the cheap.”
The satire writes itself
““We thought Canada was in for years of economic depression as we reworked our economy and built new trade partnerships around the world,” explained PM Carney. “But then Trump went and, to use a macro-economic term, ‘shot America in the dick’. So now it’ll be easier to just buy the whole place.”
““What country wouldn’t love being annexed by a neighbouring power without having any say in the matter, forced to abandon their culture of NASCAR, oversized food portions, and automatic weapons” Joly asked, looking at mock-up art of the Statue of Liberty remodelled to have Bonhomme’s face.”
@auscandoc this article is HILARIOUS
@chris @auscandoc The Beaverton never disappoints 
@auscandoc “SOLD!” say many Americans.
#TheBeaverton nails it once again. Simple solution
“But then Trump went and, to use a macro-economic term, ‘shot America in the dick’. So now it’ll be easier to just buy the whole place.”
@LiamEgan Yes. That was gold!
@auscandoc
bit of a fixer-upper, ngl
“Over $500 trillion in value was wiped out of the S&P last week. According to my calculations, by August the entire United States of America will be worth about $3,500, CAD.”
Once purchased by Canada at “rock bottom prices”, Carney explains that America would immediately become the 11th Canadian province.
“Or the 4th territory, depending on how we’re feeling that day,” added Carney."
@auscandoc yes as an American I want this
They should call it South Saskatchewan.
“Given Americans’ low literacy rates, costly health insurance, and how much animal shit their FDA allows in their food, Canada annexing the U.S. is really more of a humanitarian gesture.”
@auscandoc I, for one, welcome our new Canadian overlords.
@ridetheory @auscandoc
Wish they’d hurry up.
BUT, Canada could end up being in a bidding war with Denmark!